Accepting what happens in our life, is both challenging and rewarding. In my last post, I wrote that everything that is important to you matters. I cannot speak for you. When I tell myself “it doesn’t matter” it is because I am feeling something, I dislike. I may have been discouraged, disappointed, disrespected, and I am feeling insecure. This feeling can be slight or intense, and somehow we think that saying it doesn’t matter makes it okay. We may even think it is a way of letting go of the feelings, and perhaps it is an effective method. You know a kind of like don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff. I think that we can do ourselves more harm than good. By saying it doesn’t matter we can affect our self-worth. In addition, we can distort our outlook of other people involved in “IT.” I asked myself an additional question along with when it will matter. What is it?

Several weeks ago, I wrote an article expressing that I will stop, ignoring things. Sometimes I see negative things going on around me and think it doesn’t matter. As I started working on changing this in myself, I came up with something that really works for me. Do you ever hear yourself think, “It doesn’t matter?” I have come to understand that I think this way. It may be because I am trying to dismiss how I feel about something. It may be because I think I should do something, and I can accept that it is unimportant. Not everything can intensely matter to us, or we will drive ourselves insane with concern and worry. However, because procrastination causes so many adversities in our lives, we can benefit from one simple question.

Marion wrote a very insightful article on forgiveness that I recommend. She touched on the different aspects of forgiveness like, I have never seen. I have read many books on the subject and have become an understanding and compassionate person. However, how I became that way was a little beyond my awareness. Marion’s article gave me insight as to how I actually helped myself!

What is the child inside you telling you? As children, we must have authorization and allow another to decide many things for us. There is no getting around this and the drawbacks can affect us later in life. As adults if we carry on with life, as if we are children, we become confused. People tell us that it is helpful to be more childlike and this can confuse us or reinforce the existing confusion. Childlike behavior is that of wonder, living in the now and experiencing life to the fullest. Childish behavior is approval seeking, feeling that you need permission, and wanting other people to make your decisions. When we are childish, we lack the confidence to pursue our wonders and inner dialogue reminds us of what we want to avoid when it comes to other people. This inner dialogue develops in our early years and controls us, if we let it.

In an earlier post, I wrote about how self-help teaches us to be selfish. Each concept contains aspects that suggest we must be selfish if we want to succeed. In this series and particularly in this conclusion I have gained clarity. The more that you learn and grow the more you have to give. With each method throughout each concept, you learn to think of yourself and validate yourself. This is what I originally referred to as selfish in that article. In order to validate other people in a healthy way we must learn to validate ourselves. Each time we do something for another; it validates us if we are sincere. When we validate another person mechanically, we validate him or her, but not necessarily ourselves. In other words, when we do something for someone else if we do it for ourselves, we have the full effect.